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The Berkeley Buddhist Priory Newsletter
January - March 2008
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What is this?
Who Is This?
by Rev. Daishin Morgan
(reprinted from Sitting Buddha-Zen Meditation for Everyone, chapter 4, page 34-37, Throssel Hole Press, 2004.)
“If we are not our thoughts and feelings,
then what are we? I find this to be a crucial question
that is at the heart of the meaning of zazen.”
I have found that one of the first lessons living in a monastery reaches is the need to clearly see the difference between one’s feelings and the situation in which they have arisen. It often happens that new monks have difficulty getting on with each other. This is not surprising as monastic life can be very intense, especially as there is no private space and very little opportunity to get away from the pressures. The new monk has to sit in the midst of his or her feelings rather than run away from them. When resentment arises, the monk is taught not to blame the other person but to look directly at their own feelings. It can seem very unjust ro be asked to do this, when the other person is patently doing something they should not. Even so, one’s first duty is to take responsibility for one’s own resentment and not be concerned with what others are doing. This principle is the same in all modes of life.
To be able to separate the two components—the issue that has arisen and your feelings about it—enables you to get your priorities clear. The monk has committed himself or herself to training and this has to come before everything else, despite the natural tendency to get locked in and blame the other person. The issue at stake is always secondary to dealing with an afflicted state of mind. In the heat of the moment, when we feel our personhood has been encroached upon or attacked, that is the very time—indeed the only time—when we can turn resentment around. Then what started as a petty argument can become a truly life-changing moment. This is to bow to the situation. Bowing is the opposite or complaining about how difficult it is. Such sincerity enables a trainee to see what is good to do, because his or her mind is no longer afflicted by resentment.
When sitting in zazen, we have to regard our thoughts and feelings as secondary in importance in the same kind of way. If they are our first concern, then we will go endlessly round and round in circles. A question we have to address is, “Are we our thoughts and feelings?” Clearly, they are a significant component of our experience of life, but to identify with them is a mistake. If we do, then we have no stability but are blown about by every breeze that comes along. For if I feel uncomfortable, then “I” am uncomfortable. That need not be so; one can be quite aware of uncomfortable feelings but remain sitting within the unmovmg pure mind of zazen.
If we are not our thoughts and feelings, then what are we? I find this to be a crucial question that is at the heart of the meaning of zazen. When I am having trouble trusting myself to the sitting, I find it helpful to ask, “Who is it that sits?” For this strategy to be part of one’s zazen and not simply a technique or method, it is vital to make no move to answer the question other than to look where the question is pointing. It is as if I were to ask you, “What is that behind you?” The only real way to know is to turn round and look for yourself. The question merely serves to bring what is important to your attention. No words, theories or methods are needed other than turning your head. Just so in zazen, “Who is this?” When you look into your heart, any thoughts or feelings are secondary matters that you can leave to take care of themselves.
I experience this as largely a matter of not doing rather than doing. There is nothing to get hold of in response to this question of “Who?” Each seeming level of “me” turns out to be another thought or feeling that passes. I seem to be made up of fleeting thoughts and feelings, some stay for a while, others pass very quickly. That thoughts and feelings arise is not a problem, so long as I do not add my volition to them. What I see is how I interrupt the looking with unnecessary movements of the mind. All my volition needs to be taken up with the act of looking/being. I cannot stand apart from what is seen and name it; I can only be it. I can be the sitting person and that person is sitting Buddha. This involves letting body and mind fall away, that is to let go of all conceptions of myself and the world and just sit. What is left is zazen doing zazen.
Zazen or enlightenment is not about finding a particular state of mind, for all states of mind are fleeting and cannot be relied upon. When you know who is sitting, you know sitting Buddha. This expression is a bit strange; why not say sitting like a Buddha? I prefer to say sitting Buddha because there is nobody sitting like a Buddha; there is just sitting Buddha. That Buddha never stops sitting, but we must awaken to her presence—not that sitting Buddha is either male or female.
Original Enlightenment
Sitting Buddha is another way of speaking about Buddha. Nature or the nature of enlightenment. We usually conceive of living the Buddhist life as a path going from delusion to enlightenment, as is implied by referring to it as the Way. In the Zen tradition, there is another view which stems from the under-standing that Buddha Nature is not subject to coming and going; it is not born and does not die. Buddha Nature, therefore, is not something we acquire through training. The spiritual life in zen is realizing Buddha Nature in the present moment. Because all beings are enlightened from the very beginning, this way of understanding Buddha Nature is called original enlightenment. We have nothing missing, we cannot be separate from the truth—realizing this is not so simple. We have to awaken to our original nature, our enlightened nature.
In a very practical way, this means that in the course of our training we need to look at what we have, rather than focussing on what we believe we lack or need to understand. I spent many years in training believing that my purpose was to become one with the Buddha Nature. By doing so, I saw myself as missing something I needed. I was always trying to look ahead of myself, hoping and praying that what I believed I needed would come over the horizon. As I tried to move forward to meet it, I pushed it away in front, of me. I have come to see this mode of training as based upon inadequacy. It takes a lot of faith to practise zazen. However, the faith I am talking about is faith in one’s true nature, not faith in something outside of yourself. It is to believe that at the heart of your being there is that which is complete—the source of compassion and wisdom. If you can trust your own being, then you are already realizing your true nature. To mistrust it is absurd, and to be caught up in mistaking thoughts, feelings and emotions for the truly indestructible one, the one who experiences all these things, who is this?
News from Rev. Kinrei
For the last seventeen years, a constant and very cheerful presence at the Priory has been our beloved cat, Jet. She finally succumbed to her many serious health problems and died on January 25. Jet had been having difficult and life threatening health problems for many years. She recently had been doing better but then in mid January she became progressively weaker and weaker until she died quietly in the middle of the night. We held her funeral on Sunday, January 27 and the Priory was filled with all her friends from the Sangha. Jet had a very bright and positive nature with a deep trust and affection for her many human friends. She will be missed.
Rev. Berenice had been living at the Priory since last summer, working as a dog walker and gardener. She returned to her home at Shasta Abbey at the end of February. Rev. Berenice provided considerable help with the Priory and her cheerful presence and energy will be missed at the Priory. We wish her our best in her training at the Abbey.
Gilbert Roth, a Sangha member from Nevada who practiced regularly at Shasta Abbey, came to the Bay area in December for treatment for cancer. Unfortunately, Gilbert’s condition took a unexpected downturn and he went to stay with his daughter, and prepare himself for death. On January 24, it looked like Gilbert was close to dying and I spent much of the day at his bedside. Three of Gilbert’s daughter were by his bedside and it was moving to see them help him face his death and confront the deep pain of their imminent loss. The next evening, Gilbert died, still surrounded by his daughters. Gilbert was 67 years old. The next morning, Rev. Berenice and myself, went to his bedside to offer the first part of the Buddhist funeral ceremony, which is done with the newly dead body. With his immediate family around him, we gave him the Precepts and guidance on letting go of whatever is binding him and opening his heart to the Buddha. The following Wednesday, I spent the morning in a crematorium with two of his daughters, meditating and offering scriptures to the newly departed. His whole family and friends had an opportunity to say goodbye to Gilbert at Shasta Abbey on February 9 at his funeral ceremony. Gilbert Roth’s ashes are now interred at the Abbey. Buddhist training is grounded in the fact that we all need help in dealing with the momentous difficulties of birth and death. To help beings realize that birth and death does not bind them is to point them to the real purpose of the spiritual life.
We held a one year memorial on January 2, for my father, Bouris Bassis. I appreciated the Sangha joining with me to offer merit to my parent. Judy Brown’s cat, Fred, died on March 17 and we had his funeral the next day.
Helping the Priory and Work Days
Buddhist training is based not just on receiving the spiritual nourishment that the Sangha offers us, but also our own willingness to cultivate gratitude and to be willing to find ways to give. Offering our valuable time to help with the work of the Priory is very much needed if the Priory is to flourish. During the past few months, Sangha members came by the Priory and helped with many different tasks, such as gardening, cleaning, bookkeeping and laundry. Please contact the Priory if you wish to help; the Priory always has plenty of work that needs doing.
In addition, the Priory has been having regular work days. The next work days are scheduled for Saturday, May 31 and
Saturday, July 19, from 9:30 to 3:00, but we welcome everyone to help for whatever part of the day they can come.
With Gratitude
Charity is one of the four wisdoms and demonstrates the Bodhisattva’s aspiration. Deep appreciation and gratitude is extended to all those who contribute their spiritual practice, money, time, energy, and various gifts to the Priory. The generosity of the entire Priory Sangha is what makes it possible for the Priory to exist and for the Dharma to be offered.
In recent months, we have been given many generous gifts, including plants, garden mulch, toaster oven, buddha statues, meditation cushions, benches and mat, laundry soap, light bulbs, tissues, and a water filter. The donation providing for Jet’s cremation was very much appreciated.
Providing monks with food is the traditional offering given when coming to a Buddhist temple, and we appreciate all the generous food offerings we have been given which provide most of the food for the Priory. During the past few months we have been given several prepared meals, soup, soymilk, salad, salad dressing, eggs, peanut butter, pasta, milk, coffee, tea, bread, teas, granola, tofu, vegetables, fruit, vegie meats, fruit preserves, fruit juice, nuts, cheese, rice, mayonaise, dried fruit, ice cream, chocolate, cookies, cake. You are always welcome to check with the Priory on what foods are currently needed.
We encourage all our Sangha and friends to offer writings to this newsletter. We all have our own special experiences and understanding and it is an act of spiritual generosity to be willing to offer and share them with others.
A Southern Californian bookstore has offered to try to sell any books that the Priory is given. In addition we have been selling some of the more valuable books on the internet. We encourage Sangha members and friends to donate any unwanted books. A steady stream of books arrive at the Priory and all of these generous donations are earning a considerable amount of money for the Priory. We very much appreciate these gifts of books.
Priory Meditation Retreats
May 10 June 14 July 12Retreats are an excellent way to deepen our meditation and training. Please register in advance for all the retreats.
May 25: Wesak Celebration and Potluck
On Wesak, Buddhists throughout the world commemorate the birth of Shakyamuni Buddha. It is the most spiritually significant day of the Buddhist calendar and it is helpful for Buddhists to join together as a Sangha and express their gratitude and joy for the existence and transmission of the Three Treasures.
On Sunday, May 25, we will have the usual 9:30 am meditation, followed by the Wesak ceremony at 10 am. The Wesak ceremony is a particularly joyous service. The altar is covered with silk flowers, and a statue of the Buddha as a baby stands on the front altar. During the ceremony we pour water over the head of the baby Buddha, representing the water of compassion abundantly flowing over all beings.
After the ceremony, the Priory will have a Dharma talk. At around 12 pm, we will have a vegetarian potluck lunch. All family and friends of our Sangha are welcome to join us for the potluck and to share in our celebration of the birth of the Buddha. The Priory potlucks provide a wonderful offering of foods, and allow us to deepen our contact and friendship with our fellow members of the Sangha.